We always wanted a dog

We always wanted a dog. Well, I always wanted a dog and as any man can tell you, that’s all that’s needed for most things to happen when you’re married, a wife’s desire! Hence, we always wanted a dog. Now I have had the awesome luck to grow up with a lot of pets whom I loved dearly and some of whom loved me back. So having a dog was a no brainer for me, like a matter of fact, going to happen kinda thing. But for my husband, it was a different situation. He did not have pets growing up and his memories of dogs were not made of the I’m so cute take me home eyes or cuddle me I’m soft or rub my belly and I’m yours kinda dogs. His memories were made of a scared teenager trying to ply his bicycle at the maximum speed he could ride at because stray street dogs in Pune(India) thought the street he was riding on was their territory, which my husband was trespassing . Or maybe it’s a dog thing, to chase everything on wheels…not sure. Fortunately, my husband never had the opportunity to find out if they were merely chasing or had any serious intention of ‘defending’ their territory. But the vision of my husband as a teenager, skinny and gawky riding his bicycle as if his life depended on it and a pack of blonde Indian hounds chasing him always makes my day. Its amusing when the misery is not yours and particularly when it’s your spouse’s ! Again, married people can vouch for this – although not sure how long you will stay married now that you have openly acknowledged the existence of this fact.

So we set about ‘researching ‘ the what and how of owning a dog. Now, this researching aspect comes from my husband whose need to ‘research ‘ can extend from situations involving which is the best toilet tissue to buy up to what is the best six sigma approach to apply to the sequencing of the chassis of the town and country model of 2010. I am not saying that it’s not necessary or that it’s not useful, I’m just saying that it’s a pain in the you know what for someone who barely got through her research years as a student doing her Masters with the help of caffeine, caffeine and yes, caffeine. So for a year (yes, a whole year), we did just that – research. We saw all the television shows even remotely related to dogs, including Dog the Bounty Hunter(it has the word dog in it). It’s me or the Dog is a personal favorite – I know all the dogs Victoria the host and trainer helped by straightening their owners(Its never the fault of the dog she says) as if I was the agent who got them the show.

We took all the personality tests on all the websites who helped us determine what breed of dog was most suited for us – not Labradors as they are very energetic and our ‘personality’ would not suit them (with one ‘researcher’ and the other half being me, its inertia central in here people). A German Shepherd would not do because it’s a big guard dog and we have a small apartment which has nothing worth guarding – unless my mother’s pearl necklace that she ‘forgot’ at my place only to use that as an excuse to get another bigger one can count as a treasure worth guarding. Then again, I am not sure what self respecting German Shepherd would want to guard that…and self respect is what the Sheps and Germans are known for I hear, so…not a breed for us. A King Charles Cocker Spaniel looked like a good match for a while, but I think the pet shelter/adoption agency we applied to did not think we were royal enough for a King Charles. We understand, they have a reputation to protect. We thought a Dalmatian or a St.Bernard would fit the bill, but my husband kindly pointed out that if I ever had to take the dog out for a walk alone, it would be a pretty funny scene. I mean imagine a 100 pound woman walking a 200 pound giant dog. It seems fine at that scene, but imagine if that dog caught the scent of a squirrel and decided it wanted to chase it. Now imagine a 200 pound dog chasing a 3 pound squirrel dragging a 100 pound woman on what is supposed to be the dog’s leash. Pretty funny don’t you think. Again, refer to the point about the spouse’s misery, this is another example. I can see my husband smiling inside(I think he is rolling over with laughter with what must seem like the biggest laugh ever). Point in case, no big breeds for us.

We now directed our attention to the little ones, the we’re so cute and we know it ones, the ones who are tiny by only size and can bring down a mansion with their sheer vocal prowess…the Chihuahua’s, the Shih Tzu’s, the Pomeranians, the Maltese and their kind. Apartment dwellers, couch potatoes, no children yet…perfect for a small breed, right ? Not so much and not always, as we found out. Now small they maybe, but that’s only the pounds of flesh we are talking about. The attitude punch they pack is a whole different story my friends. We saw this adorable Pekinese at one of the shelters. She was cute as a button, red soft coat, pretty eyes and that cute nose. We approached the crate she was in with all the affection and she proceeded to well…walk away in the other. Not the ones to be deterred by such minor ignoring by a dog, we went over to the other side where she was. She looked up, gave us that look for half a second and moved away again. Now I love dogs and all, but I must say my petty human ego was hurt. We later found out that the Pekinese are usually a one person dog and maybe she was too attached to her previous owner. In any case, my petty human ego was hurt at being snubbed by the cutest little red head and I had to move on. On another weekend, we happened to meet the most paradoxical dog ever – an English bulldog. The bulldogs if you have seen one, look mean. They ‘look’ like mean business and have the attitude of no messing around. They are broad shouldered, look like they hit the gym twice a day and run marathons regularly. If you have met one, you would know that in fact, they are the cutest little angels with the funniest attitude ever. They are gentle and love to cuddle. Sitting on the couch and watching the telly would be their favorite activity and getting up to shift their weight from the left paw to the right would easily qualify as workout for these gentle souls. This dog seemed like the perfect match…but my husband suggested that a seemingly lazy dog in the life of the laziest couple on the block would not be so good. I mean I don’t want to be competing for the title of the lazy, lazier and the laziest everyday…and that’s exactly what would happen in the house. A couple days later, we happened to go to a local pet store who were hosting an adoption event. We met the most energetic little fellow with beautiful brown spots on a soft white coat. His eyes were full of mischief and his nose was glued to the ground. Meet the beagle, the ones with the best sense of smell and bred to hunt small game. These wonderful ones are known to have a singing voice, err bark or howl. We immediately fell in love with this one and promptly went up to the desk to fill in the adoption form. The kind lady there asked us some ‘routine’ questions like who will be in the house (us) , why do you want a dog (err, why not?) , do we have a fenced yard ? (Nope - no yard no fence…we are apartment dwellers.) Oh oh she said, that’s a deal breaker for a beagle…they have to have a fenced yard to sniff and run around.

Disappointed by the months of no luck even identifying the right breed, we were near giving up on the whole dog thing completely. Maybe we should get a goldfish or even a ball python. Then one boring afternoon in office, I was reading the news and there happened to pop up an ad for an upcoming pet adoption event. I had almost given up but something caught my eye. It was a pair of the most soulful brown eyes I had ever seen (second to my husband). They were accompanied by a big black button nose, long ears, one brown and the other spotted. Her name was Kiss-me, listed as a beabull from Kentucky, currently residing at a local shelter waiting for a fur-ever home. Kiss-me needed a home and we needed her.

I called my husband and insisted I had found the one. He did not quite believe me haven given up the dog hunt way before I did. I contacted the shelter and set up an appointment for the following day. That morning, I dragged my husband to the adoption event at the very hour they said they would open(what if someone else fell in love with those eyes?)
We walked in and there she was. The perfect one. The soulful eyes and the attitude to match. She walked up to us, sniffed us for a moment, looked up at my husband and then it happened. He knew, just as I had, that this was the one. There was no doubt about it. When you know, you just know, they say. And how we knew.

A week later, she was living with us. Her name is now Kashmir (after the beautiful state from India as well as the wool from that region, just like her coat). She is a beagle and bull dog mix - like God decided to finally give us the best mix of a dog suited for us, the laziness of the bull dog along with the energy of the beagle. The sense of smell of a beagle with appetite of the bull. The attitude of the beagle yet the soul of the bull dog. I told you, perfect !
Every morning walking her is easily the most favorite time of our day. She has added so much love to our lives, it’s unbelievable. They always say…you don’t rescue a dog, a dog rescues you.

Woof Woof !

Isn't humanity the only religion ?

The recent disturbing Mumbai events have questioned me just as the previous hateful and terror driven events across the world with this simple one - isn't humanity the only religion ? I mean sure we can all be Hindu's or Muslims, Christians or Sikhs, Jews or Buddhists...but dont they all hold identical values and try to spread the same message in different ways ? Are some of us really that stupid as not to see this ? It is incredibly cowardly to use religion as a means to unite with an aim to cause such harm. All through history across the globe we have seen that if there existed real agenda based on grief and injustice, it has only been solved by peaceful means, like the Indian fight for freedom. It has never made any sense to a lot of people to use violence as a means to get peace. I am not saying that there should not be the presence of armies or weapons right now, for purely tactical reasons and just for the time being (of course a weapon free world is the ideal and the eternal optimist in me believes very strongly that this would be a reality someday) . Just like most of us, I feel that you cannot 'win' a war against anything... you stand a better chance of bringing about change if you understand it and try to resolve the core insecurities.
I know some of you are probably saying that for those who did not lose anyone dear to them, its easy to sit on a chair and blabber about a weapon free world. For those of you, please see any interview of Mrs.Kia Scherr, the brave woman who lost her husband and daughter in Mumbai 26/11. Her amazing faith in humanity and strength to forgive might change your opinion.
The current US President elect Mr.Obama faced a lot of flack during his campaign when he said that he was willing to talk to anyone to bring about change and peace. Critics said that it was naive and that it was dangerous for the US head of state to meet without preconditions. Agreed. But honestly, do you really think that its going to work? I mean, how can you resolve any conflict if you don't at least try to start a dialogue ? And what confidence do you project when you have ridiculous preconditions (or conditions that seem ridiculous to the other side at least) ?
I could be wrong, but I tend to believe that maybe the pent up frustration, irritation, failure in the view of the world and a lack of a sense of purpose in some people is taken advantage of by extremists and by using religion as a means to unite, they are misled and made to believe that the atrocities that they might commit are in fact not sins because its a religious cause. Isn't this the common thread across all communal rifts across all religions ? We think we can forgive ourselves if the cause is just in the view of the religion we are following. And then again, isn't humanity the only religion...or should it not be ? if only it were that simple to understand and practice...

When you do what is right...

'When you do what is right, everything falls in its place and everyone falls in line'. I am not sure where I read or heard this, but its a statement that has stuck with me ever since. Its a statement that my mind reminds me whenever I am caught in a dilemma to choose a path on those frequent forks of life (which is about at least 50 times in the day and 10 times in my dreams for sure).
Pretty much every time there is a mental , situational, emotional , physical or any other molehill of a problem, I have the ability to convert it to a mountain instantly. Just like that. I think about the situation for a few minutes and there, like a magician saying "abracadabraaaaaaaa" or a genie blinking her eyes or snapping her fingers, there's a mountain from a mole hill. Its a gift... honestly. I know you envy me now but that's OK. Not everyone is blessed. Some of us are just plain lucky and I seem to have a lot of it. Now that we know about my super ability, lets get back to talking about this statement.
So every time I find myself staring at this mountain of a molehill, I find myself wondering what to do. One has to decide based on what one wants, what the other people want (the mountain is almost like K2 when the 'other people' are loved ones like dear friends and family), what is normally done in a situation like that and so on. Every solution has its own consequences which affect the other situations in life and most certainly, other people. One thinks judiciously about the options and which one to choose. The brain confers with the heart and the soul and advises you of the best solution, the 'right' one. Now this 'right one' may create other molehills or potential mountains. If the 'right one' is not what one wants, one feels less inclined to take it up. If its going to disturb the 'other people', well, its equally bad. Some of us who have the openness of the heart and the generosity to be self-sacrificial, tend to go with the option that pleases the 'other people'. Some of us who are more in tune with ones own self, chose the option that pleases the self. The rest just flip a coin. A pretty neat idea I must say...very efficient.
Whatever one chooses, its not possible that its a universal solution to satisfy every aspect or person and I dread the consequences.
This is where the mind interferes and reminds me of the statement. When you do what is right - right meaning fair to all in the long run or in the overall picture or just plain common sense correct, everything falls in place and everyone falls in line - eventually. Don't mind the temporary upheaval (which depending on the mountain could last from hours to months), don't mind the people you have 'hurt' by doing the right thing, once they think about it and cool off, they will see the light. Things or situations might settle faster then people. People have their own gifts - to hold on to fear / ego / insecurities and more. These gifts make the settling process slower and more difficult then what it actually is. But eventually, they see the point.
So when you do what is right, the mountain disappears and there is a plane of land stretching to the horizon, soft green grass swaying in the cool breeze, beautiful gazelles and deer grazing without a care, sparrows chirping and the sun shining bright. Almost like a magician saying "abracadabraaaaaaaa" or a genie blinking her eyes or snapping her fingers.

Its SPRING...NOW

The sweet winds of change had started to blow across the lands, asking the winter damaged life to hold on just a little bit longer, for it was to be SPRING.
A time to forget the harsh winters that had preceded, a time to be in the moment whose memory would be a perennial source of inspiration and calm, a time to look forward to or abhor the sunshine and rains, depending on your disposition.
Its the season which embodies the essence of our being - forget the past for it is now but a memory, the present is heaven so open your eyes and be in the moment, the future will certainly be a different story so expect change.
So if there had to be a representative for spring, I believe it would have to be Tulips.
Just as the winters begin to disappear, the tulips begin to rise. The small and random specks of yellows, reds, pinks , etc... begin to line the sidewalks and fill in the greens in the parks. You cannot help but smile and for that moment, you are completely there... present. A week later the buds have blossomed and are divine...perfect size petals standing tall and spreading the cheer, simply by being. Every time you look at a tulip, you cannot help but be mesmerized, not only by the enchanting beauty but also by the thought that this beauty that is in front of you right now, was not there a week ago and will not be there a week from now. All you have is now. All you have is this moment and it is divine, peaceful... calm.
All you ever have is the now...for the past is the winter, nothing but a memory and the future a summer, sun or rain you will never be sure what.
But now it's spring...the NOW is always the SPRING and every moment a Tulip in bloom.
(The pictures are from a recent visit to the 'Tulip Time Festival' Holland, MI, USA.)

Its an amazing journey...starts with a look and ends with one too. A single look at the face that captures your imagination, makes your mind want more, leaves you with a feeling that there is a connection and that maybe, you should gather the courage and find a reason... any reason to go and talk to her.
Some days later, you cross roads and smile...say hello followed by a quick reference to where you saw each other or something to keep the chat going. You accidentally bump into each other a lot more often and always find new topics to talk about. The mutual interest in each others talks keeps growing. Before you know it, you are so into the person...your schedule starts revolving around the time you meet up. If she comes to the classroom at 12, you will be there before her. Occasionally a little late, to seem cool or throw her off, or to see if she has been waiting. The feeling when you find out that she has been waiting for you is priceless and makes you feel like you could walk on water !
So you think you have fallen in love...or you are not sure this is love. You are sure its love but what about her ? does she know its love ? of course she knows its love...why would she look at you like that with those magical eyes all dreamy and wonderful?
And then you look at him...all handsome, works out...has a great ride and a cool attitude to match...and of course, he has her in his arms. So there you are...it started with a look and has ended with one too.

It still feels like yesterday

Its going to be a year now since Harsh and I have been together in the US...and it still feels like it was yesterday. I remember so very clearly the afternoon the plane landed at McNamara from Mumbai via London(my fave city in the world for a lot of reasons...). All excited to meet Harsh, who was, as expected late - people who know him surely know you can expect Harsh to keep you cooling off your heels ! So there I was, a girl full of excitement and anticipation, eager to meet her boyfriend and start a new chapter in her life. After being in a long distance relationship with him for about three years,I was a mixed bag of emotions...excited(to be with him), scared (had left my job, my family and friends), emotional (I had missed him so so very much), nervous(did I look OK...what would he say ? It had been a very long flight and I looked like a mess) and every other emotion one can feel.
I had looked all around the place for him and tried to use the telephone to call him up without luck. The feeling of being in a foreign land, about 20 hours of flight distance between my family and me and all those emotions were not helping me keep my cool...and then in about fifteen minutes I see him walking oh so casually through the door. And now there I was, a girl full of excitement to have conquered every distance to be with the one she loved. When we met, all my mixed feelings were replaced by the calmness and peace he provided...those who know him will know his calm and silent demeanor can be oh so comforting. ..and its going to be a year now since Harsh and I have been together in the US...and it still feels like it was yesterday.

Is the destination or the journey worth it ?

Why is it so difficult to let go of the things we know are not good for us ? Why are bad habits so hard to die ? Why do we embark on these trails when we know that there is no safe way out and that we will be hurt, no matter what path we choose there on...
Be it the habit of smoking where you started it to look cool or fit in with your peers..knowing very well that it has a very sad flip side to it. Once you begin, you might realize that the price you are paying is probably not worth it or that the aim you have now achieved has suddenly lost its charm...but now you are so hooked onto it that it seems OK...
You have quit a million times, only to start again, bringing you back to the place you so badly wanted to get out of.
Or be it the desire to want something you cannot have-the forbidden fruit.
Is it that we are addicted to the pain or to the process of giving it all up leading to the feeling the momentary rush of success followed by the immediate relapse? Do we choose the path of self destruction consciously ?
Is the destination of the forbidden land so appealing that we lose all sense of righteousness ? Who is to say what is right and wrong apart from our conscience? Can we trust our conscience to be our guide ? Do we always listen to this 'guide'? Or do we buckle under the pressure to please our heart over the mind...It is just so convenient to do as the heart pleases when we are the only people that we shall be hurting . We are just so much more careful when there is a loved one involved and avoid doing anything to harm them. But when it comes to ourselves, it is so easy to forget the reason and go with the flow...where ever it leads us, as long as the journey is fascinating...and as long as we think we are the only people that we are risking...
But we never are alone, are we ? There is always a loved one...a family, a friend or more who we eventually let down by letting ourselves down.
Is the destination or the journey worth it ?